4. COURT DATE SLATE

     The consequences of our failed pharm act were unsettling; pharm hits afforded a life of luxury and ease, whereas street dealings proved an opposing daily nightmare. Dallying in Kabul or Chiang Mai were tempting alternatives, getting busted there bit (unless you enjoy hanging)....and so did our little court date pending. While enduring a clandestine trial-and-error period, copping street heroin (in cute, origami-folded envelopes) (China White or the Good Brown Shit), we were required to see a shrink (wrapped) by the State in the interim before our court appearance. 

     Ever notice the breakdown of the words psycho-the-rapist in psychotherapist? Free Assessments! Scientology! Bubblehead Punker chick meets upstanding Urban Professional : psycho-stereotypically anal, dressed-to-kill in a trendy designer suit, defending PHD certificates plastering a sterile wall. "At least", I thought, "she's wearing all-black like me".

     I had never opened up to a Person in this capacity before. I'd seen a government shrink once, a few years prior, in Seattle, while attempting to qualify for welfare crazy-money (SSI). Listening to a Muzak version of Simon and Garfunkel's "The Sounds of Silence" in the waiting room, after drinking quadruple espressos, had triggered an award-winning exhibition of dry mouth, pseudo-delirium tremens, and overall temporal sketchiness, which clinched my schizophrenic status. 

    This time, however, with no insanity to prove, I sought validation and encouragement, perhaps even a medal? In the consequent baring of my Soul's eyeteeth, I waxed romantically of our tribal dedication (Questssss!) to go beyond the Outer Limits of Society, deep into the pineal gland's Astral Spirit Realms.......

     "Buoyed by a burning desire for compassionate fellowship in these hereafters, our vampirized states abiding beyond Pluto prove satisfying, thrilling, and strangely familiar (Whee! Sirius Faerie Dust!) as we field Universal Explorations of thee Unknown, on the brink of Breakthrough, and traverse Astronomically Cosmic Paths of Discovery, with the Most Serene Buddhist lack of desire....to come back down. And this, our Great Love for transformative, altered mind-body symbiosis, inexplicably alienating us from receiving the proper funding, recognition, and support from our fellow peers in the Mundane World of Science" (not exactly handing out Grants for "Researching the Fallout Trajectory of the Injected Singularity").............

     Delivering said inflamed dissertation to my appointed Guardian, I was certain it would induce parasympathetic feelings of professional rapport, respect, and personal appreciation......Au contraire, mes amis, you'd have been shocked to the extent by which my confessor shirked her sacred task! Detonating a major buzzkiller in real time, she flailed me with undisguised incredulity and disgust. Taking voluminous notes, offering zero tidbits of philosophical praise, the-mind-rapist looked her best downright disapproving in a beaked way. My stellar performance of insightful ranting, raging, and prophesying (an eloquent shot in the arm) proved ultimately (in vein) a failed attempt at bonding. The extent of her distaste was to be revealed later in court.